Juicing

So, at the incessant promotion by a friend of mine, a week or two ago I broke down and bought a juicer, convinced of it's wonders by him, and knowing myself well enough to know that if I was serious about trying to be healthier, my best chance of intaking fruits and vegetables was in juice form. Now, juicing fruit is fantastic. I love it. The juicer's a pain in the ass to clean, but the juice tastes great. I've mixed everything together, keeping a blueberry/dark grape base, and it's awesome AND it's good for me.

Now, vegetable juice? That's another story. That tastes so god-awful that in two weeks I can't remember if I've attempted to make veggie juice two times or three times. In either case, I did not finish my juice. Now, maybe I'm just not doing the right veggies; the above-mentioned friend suggested a base of carrots. So that was my undertaking today: mostly carrots with a healthy (mind the pun) dose of broccoli, green beans, spinach, lettuce, and tomatos. I think my mistake was moving beyond the carrots. No, that's not true. I think my mistake was that although there were more carrots than any other one vegetable, there were more NON-carrot vegetables than there were carrots. (Kinda like when 3 people run for president, and one gets 40% and the other two get 30%? The 40% guy wins, even though 60% of the people didn't want him to. The difference, I guess, is that in this case the two 30%s won, 'cause I'll be damned if I could taste carrot.) In any event, I'm going to steel myself for one more veggie juice attempt. (Not just this minute; I need some recovery time.) We're gonna try something like 90% carrots, and maybe some spinach. And just leave it at that, and see how that goes. If that works, then I'll maybe try to branch out, in bits and peices, to include perhaps a third vegetable. But I think that's as far as I'll go. I've been drinking bleach for the last 30 minutes and that horrid taste is still there; it's as though the bleach has burned away every living cell EXCEPT my tastebuds and those cells that still have nasty-juice clinging to them. Ugh. If the carrot/spinach combo doesn't work, I'm just gonna stick to V8. It's not the best tasting stuff, but it's better than the rank, gross, rancid, disgusting, vile, putrid (ooh! good word! let's end there) stuff that I've been making. And it's healthy!

Author's note: Kids, we discussed a serious subject here today: drinking bleach. It's no laughing matter; it can flat out kill you. So never, EVER drink bleach unless you're at a really kickin' party and someone dares you. Even then, make sure you have a chaser of Everclear or some home-brewed Absynth ready.
* -The more you know...
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