Laws of unattraction

Okay, so, I'm confused enough about what makes people attracted to one another. I already covered that in a previous post. I'm don't understand it, and I don't feel like spending any more time thinking about it. What I equally don't understand, though, it was makes someone in a long-term relationship decide they no longer want to be with their significant other.

Let's break it down a little bit, shall we? There are two types of long-term relationships. The good ones, and the "we just need to try harder to make it work" ones. (I've already complained about those, haven't I? I'm not saying that relationships should be perfect; they do require a little effort. But if there's an "er" involved at all, as "try harder," then I don't think it's a worthwhile relationship. Trying is one thing, but if you're already trying hard and it isn't working? Yeah, that's time to call it quits; not to try harder.)

So, let's go with the ones that aren't working out. I'm not surprised when the discord reaches a breaking point, but at exactly what point does that happen? After putting up with so much BS for year after year, when does one finally decide they've had enough? In my dealings with others in this situation, it rarely seems to be a single event. Most will cite the entire bad relationship as the reason. Did they all of a sudden open their eyes and realize that this wasn't working? Was it a surprise to them? I don't know.

The one that bothers me more, though, is the relationships that seem to be working. How can you date anyone for years, without much fighting or arguing at all, and then break things off? That boggles my mind, especially among those who have reached at least a mid-20s age. Teenagers and the sort I can easily understand them failing, and in truth, I expect them to. This isn't pure cynicism; it's simply acknowledging the fact that people change a great deal between the ages of, say, 15 and 23. So a person who's perfect for you when you're fifteen could be your polar opposite five years later. That doesn't surprise me. But when older people are together for so long, what changes? Or is it, again, an eye-opening that hadn't happened prior?

I don't know the answer to that either. It has been a long, long day. (I've finally fixed the time at the bottom of this posting-form-thing. Hopefully it'll stay fixed for me.) All I can say is that relationships, not unlike religion, can be both the best and the worst things in the world. And, as is my view on religion, the only way to view a relationship is seriously, but not the be-all-end-all of your life. If something occurs that the relationship, or the religion, that you'd believed in for so long suddenly comes into question, or is suddenly not right for you anymore (by your decision or by another's), the only thing to do is keep your chin up and move on. It will hurt, that's for certain. But there is too much life to be lived, too much to see and do, to dwell on the things that hurt us. I won't say that life is too short, for that, to me, along with being a cliche, comes across as ungrateful for the time we are given. But I will say that I want to enjoy my life as much as I can, and that means not lingering on those things that hurt me.