Surprises

So, tonight I had an old friend randomly instant message me. And by "randomly," I don't mean "out of the blue," but rather "with a new SN." She proceeded to proceeded to play with my head (not that one) and coerced me into playing little games with her (Not those kinds of games; hell, if she was trying to get off on what we were doing, I have no doubt that I managed to ruin it for her). Just quiz games, dropping tidbits of information about me to illustrate that she had more than a superficial knowledge of me and reinforcing that I knew nothing about her (it wasn't even who I started to think it was). And to say that I feared for my life would be overly dramatic and untrue, but let's say that I own two real swords, and they were both here with me in the basement. Unsheathed. (Which it was silly to have both, because the one is so heavy that it can't be anything less than a two handed sword, so I really should've only had that or the lighter one. Maybe I figured just holding two swords would be menacing to a would-be intruder? I dunno, but they were both here, dammit!)

Anyway, it wound-up being an old coworker from my bank days. (Bully for her, because I was totally clueless to her identity...) Very cool girl; had a crush on her there for a while, but then we had the friend talk. And then we had it again. I'm pretty sure we had it a third time as well, if not a fourth. But it's something I can look back upon and laugh (at the time, I was like "Yeah. Friend. Got it. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?") I still tease her about it now, but in all fairness, she wasn't too far off-base. After the first friend talk, I had no intentions of acting on any emotions, but they don't just die right away. So the later friend talks were at least quasi-warrented by the fact that the emotions did exist. But such is the past; today she makes the total at least two women that I had liked and became friends with. (I should add that I still see her from time to time when I go to the bank; we just don't really 'hang' anymore. By 'old friend' I meant one I'd known for a while, not neccessarily one I hadn't seen for a while.)

I told her to pop by and check out my blog. The irony about that (which I didn't have the time to explain to her through instant messenger tonight, but which she'll figure out anyway if she does pop by to read this) is that this blog started to help me cope with my feelings for her. I'm fairly positive I've since deleted those original posts (I wanted her to be able to read this without ruining the friendship that had since settled), but yeah, it started as someplace to just get out my thoughts and emotions.

Which, coincidentally, brings me to a point I've been meaning to bring up. I joined Quest this week, as those of you who read this thing are aware. And I had a half-memory of the fact that the last time I had joined a gym (which was still Quest) roughly 3 years ago, it was with the thought that if I got more in shape, my then-crush April would see me as more than a friend. It seems odd to me that within a week's time I have been made to remember the early days of two of the most powerful instances of crush-turned-friend.

I feel like... I dunno... the stars are converging? Something like that. Like a strong turning point is about to approach my life, and I'm being given these moments to remember a past that might become moot in the future. ... Maybe something like that. I don't know, but I don't buy into coincidences... Add into the mix all the questions about my future and my current position in life that my most recent crush-turning-friend has inspired, and I'm fairly certain that major changes (and not necessarily ones I would plan) are about to occur. But then, maybe I'm just crazy. ... Crazy like a FOX!!! (Or a demon koala; whichever.) In any event, I continue to overshoot my goal bedtime of 12, so I'm going to vaminos and hope that I make it down by 1.

PS: B-day coming soon! Holla! (Actually, not really; I'm not too keen on celebrating it this year; seems kinda arbitrary and commercialized to me these days... but, nevertheless, Holla!)