Titles Hard

It's a lot easier for me to merely ramble along in my thoughts than it is to come up with a title for what my ramblings are going to be. Clearly.

I type here, yet again, spurred onward by the fact that I still have a few friends who actually read this thing. Which, in all honesty, makes me wonder about their utility. See, there are friends I don't get to talk to all that much anymore (one of whom dropped a line to say hi and offer sound council after the last posting) that to hang out with again would ordinarily necessitate some degree of catching up. But if I post my comings and goings here, then... there's not much catching up to be had. I mean, I can still catch up on their lives, but if I start to tell about something that'd happened to me recently, I'm bound to get "Oh yeah, I read that on your blog."

So should this be more of an airing of thoughts and feelings, rather than events? Should it stay an idealistic thought-stream without touching on the occurances of my life? That would be difficult, I think, because my thoughts are more or less formulated in response to events in my life. So I suppose I'll just take my chances.

Not especially much to say tonight, I suppose, except that I must say being single is very underrated. It is, quite possibly, the best way to be. And my only real complaint about it is that although I have no intentions of being tied down, I neither have any intentions of swearing off women. I will casually date for an unspecified period of time, and my concern is that opens the possibility that I'll hurt someone in them getting more attached than I care to be. That's actually become less of a concern the more I've lived with this way of thinking. As far as I'm concerned, as long as I'm up front and honest about wanting nothing more than to have fun with someone, and am perfectly clear that the odds of a relationship are damn close to none, at least within the next few years, then I'm not going to worry. I'm not going to live my life in fear of hurting someone, because I'd never get to do anything. I will date different girls, I will spend time with different girls, and if anything physical happens, well, I won't turn it away, but I don't particularly care one way or the other. That's not all that important to me. But if any of those girls get hurt, it is their own fault for getting too close when I specified ahead of time that a relationship couldn't happen. I have my reasons for that; lengthy, a bit, but main one is that when I go off to grad school in a few years, I'm going by myself. No doubt, no chance of anyone coming with me. I want that time in my life to live on my own, to face my own fears by myself, so that when I am done, I will have the confidence and the courage to embrace life anew and without hesitation. And I think that's a good reason, and any girl that I would want to date is one who would understand and respect that. So if they forget it, or ignore it, and think there's some exclusivity that there isn't? It may be harsh, but that's their problem. I have no qualms about being friends with a woman. If there's the chance of them getting too attached, I'd rather them address it up front and I'd be more than happy to keep things soley on a friend level.

On a side note, to the lovely lady who, in all honesty, spurred tonight's posting simply by demonstrating an interest in reading it, we most definitely need to go to the depot and hang out again. It has been entirely too long. That said, I bid everyone good night with a quote, funnily enough, from a video game. I'm hoping to make it something of a personal mantra:

"You don't need a reason to help people."