Family?

So I'm lying in bed, and I'm tossing and turning (which is uncommon; too much soda at work maybe?) and I'm thinking about my extended family (cousins, aunts uncles, etc) and I'm thinking of how they (one side of the family anyway) tend to be quite judgemental. There's just a sneer, a certain attitude in the way they carry themselves. And I have to wonder how much loyalty am I supposed to have to such people... I mean, honestly, with the holidays coming up, I'd rather spend them with my immediate family and/or friends than extended family. And part of me feels guilty for feeling that way, and part doesn't.

Guilt, I think, comes from thinking differently than we feel like we're supposed to think. And what we're supposed to think is taught to us throughout our lives by others; but what if they way we're taught to think and feel is wrong?

I feel almost like a traitor in this line of thinking... But on the flip side, it doesn't feel right to give someone extra consideration because of an accidental relation. I mean, my parents, my brother... I grew up with them. There's an actual bond there; there've been good times and bad times shared. But my other relatives? I see them, maybe, once a year. There's no bond. They're just people who my parents know whose names go in a box with mine every year to decide who we're gonna arbitrarily buy a christmas for. It's not the buying of the present that bothers me... I mean, I'm not gonna bitch about shelling out $20 for a gift, you know? It's just a wondering I'm stuck with right now, and it's kinda keeping me awake.

On the flip side, I'm gonna drop a plug right now for The Dresden Dolls (www.dresdendolls.com). They've rapidly moved their way from a band I've never heard of to my second favorite group. (I don't know if anyone can top Garbage. God love Shirley Manson, and her wonderful scottish lilt.) Anyway, I never thought the Dolls were anything like mainstream, but they're apparently being sold at Target (and I think Best Buy) so good for them, 'cause they didn't sell out to get there. They're a punk/cabaret band, which I never would've thought a possible blend of music. There's two members; the guy plays drums, and the girl sings and plays the keyboard/piano. The music def has a cabaret feel to it; for almost every song, I can visualize something on stage happening to go along with the music. The punk comes from kind of their look, but punk originally meant "doing it yourself," and the Dolls do that, so as far as I'm concerned that's enough to dub them punk. But stop by their site and check 'em out. They have a few clips of their songs (maybe a few entire songs?) to listen to. They have good beats and the lyrics are quite witty. So that's my plug. Sue me. And good night.