What the world needs now?

You know, around the time I turned 25 (which was only a few months ago), I finally came to enjoy being single for the first time in my life. I mean enjoy it. I loved it. And I was totally ready to never need, nor perhaps even want, a "significant other" with whom to spend the rest of my life. I knew the things I wanted to do, the man I wanted to become, and I figured that the possibility of finding someone who wanted similar enough things to simply come along for the ride without trying to change the destination was slim to none. That didn't bother me; I was happy with who I was, happy being single.

Then I met this girl. Now, I haven't been seeing her for all that long, but we have a pretty good time together. I feel like I can be myself around her, and that's okay. And, from my experience, that's a rarity in this world. But, for all the reasons I had to be single, I did my best to keep my distance. First I told her that we should just be friends, but I liked her, and being just friends seemed a silly things since there was clearly a mutual attraction. Then I tried to keep it casually dating, with the understanding that in a few years I'd be off to grad school, by myself, and so it wouldn't behoove us to get into any kind of relationship. And still I struggled with that. I liked spending time with this gal, and I felt like, despite my best efforts, a relationship was eventually in the cards.

Upon rereading a taoist book of mine (The Te of Piglet, the not-quite-as-good sequel to the Tao of Pooh), I realized that I was making one of the biggest mistakes that non-taoists normally make: I was making a problem out of something that wasn't a problem. I liked this girl. I liked spending time with her. She feels the same way. Why struggle against what seems to be a natural course of events at this point? I'll tell you why: because now that I've opened myself to the possibility that there may become something serious between her and I, I've launched past the point of just letting things be, and I've gotten panicked that I'll somehow screw it up. Within 24 hours I've shifted from fighting to keep out of a relationship, to now being worried that one won't manifest itself. I'm trying to tell myself it's not a big deal, but I'd be lying to deny the monstrous shift in my thinking these days after pulling that 180. So now I have to somehow shift back into the middle, with the "hey, whatever happens, happens" attitude. We'll see if I can pull that off.