The Sword on the Shirt

So I spent a few hours tonight gluing/sewing magnets into my turtle neck to form my sword's "sheath" for halloween. It's a great sword too; sturdy, well-crafted, and too fucking heavy!!! I'm so bitter that the magnet idea didn't work out. I mean, part of me didn't really expect it to, but I guess I was hoping; I was using pretty powerful magnets, and there were six different points of connection, so I guess I figured that'd be enough. But no, no it wasn't. Forget mounting the sword to my back; I laid my shirt out on the floor and laid the sword on top of it, making sure all six magnets were connecting, picked up the shirt, and the sword fell off. Which is just as well, I suppose, because the magnets in the shirt kept getting tangled up in each other as well, which would've made life difficult. So it's back to the drawing board. I'm open to suggestions.

On the flip side, I've again realized that I handle stress and disappointment much like the stereotypical woman. Magnet power not enough to sustain a too-heavy sword? Hey, that's nothing six chocolate chip cookies won't fix! (Not true. The cookies didn't do a damn thing to help me. All they did was get crumbs everywhere. I punished them by eating them. They were delicious.)

Anyway, yeah, I need to think of something else to do with this sword. I can't bloody well carry it around while I'm working, but it's too big for any swort of typical sheath to work. (A coworker commented that I could use it as a serving tray; that's how big it is.) Don't worry about me. I'll think of something. I always do.