Philosopher's Drinking Song

Iiiiiiiiimmanuel Kant
was a real piss-ant
who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger
was a boozy begger
who could think you under the table.
David Hume
could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrick Hegel.
And Wittgenstein
was a beery swine
who was just as sloshed as Slagle

There's nothing Nietzsche
couldn't teach ya
'bout the raising of the wrist...
Socrates himself was permanently piiiiiiiiissed...

John Steward Mill
of his own free will
after half a pint of shanty was particularly ill.
Plato, they say
could put it away
half a crate of wiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle
was a bugger for the bottle;
Hobbes was fond of his dram.
And Rene Descartes
was a drunken fart
"I drink therefore I am."

Yes Socrates himself is particularly missed...
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed!