Getting Ready

I know, I know; how could I possibly have a non-war update in the midst of all this drama? It's easy! (Actually, not so much; this is my second attempt at doing so.) But a friend of mine helped prompt a topic for discussion (and by "discussion," I mean "talking at you").

She said that there was a party tonight (honestly, more of a "lame" gathering; her words) and that she didn't feel like getting ready. My question was "why get ready?" "Getting ready means, clothes, make-up, and drying my hair." Okay, the clothes thing I can understand, but I didn't quite grasp the make-up and hair drying part. I suppose that, for women, all three of those things are the male equivalent of "putting clothes on." But I'm not sure about that. I mean, guys have to comb their hair, and shave and whatnot. And those are things that, if I'm just going to hang out, I don't worry about. I mean, I don't typically go out reaking of BO and nastiness (at least I hope not; I'd like to think my friends would give me a heads-up about that sort of thing.) Eventually, I got out of her that there were going to be guys there. And, I can kind of understand the need to primp a little bit in that regard, but still.

How did this come about in society? I think (and this is just an off-the-cuff thought) that it stems from our seemingly inherent fear of being alone in life. Like a peacock, we make ourselves as bright and shiny and pretty as possible so to attract a mate. However, unlike a peacock, we try to alter ourselves to accomplish this goal. When was the last time you saw a peacock rob a fabric store because they were looking to attach brighter and more exotic colors to themselves? Never! (Well, there was that one time, but I could tell it was all coked-out.)

But people do this! And the amazing thing to me, is that when most people are interviewed about what they find most attractive, it's NON-physical things, like "a sense of humor," or "able to hold a conversation," or maybe even subtle physical things, like "eyes." For the most part, the people that say "big boobs" or "washboard abs," these aren't the kind of people worth dating. (Well, I don't think so, anyway.) Not to say that I'm turned off by big boobs (or washboard abs, for that matter); it's just that in the grander scheme of things, those things don't really matter. And I don't think I've ever heard ANYONE say "The thing I find most attractive about women is the make-up. When they wear that right shade of blush, oooooooWE! It's hot."

But, (there're a lot of buts in this posting, aren't there?) I guess that can be construed as a more subtle thing. A guy could say "the face," and the make-up prettifies the face; helps hide wrinkles or whatnot. (How the hell do I know what makeup does? I'm a dude!) Everyone seems so obsessed with physical appearance, and I think it's mostly advertisements to blame. If the ads we saw on TV didn't feature barbi-preportioned women and ahnold-preportioned men, this problem wouldn't be nearly as bad. And no, I'm not ranting about this 'cause I look like the hunchback of notre dame (though he is quite the handsome fellow, if I do say so myself.) It just kinda bothers me, is all. I like natural beauty. I like a smile that's pure and mostly innocent (entirely innocent wouldn't be any fun at all, eh what?) I like eyes that express compassion and what the french call a certain "joy of life." And really, I don't like all that much makeup. I mean, it has to be a lot before I DISlike it. But I don't need it. I haven't dated a woman without saying, at least once, "you don't really need to wear makeup around me." I mean, if we're going to the opera or something, alright, fine. I tend to be laid-back as far as my style is concerned (I LOVE my tai-chi pants these days, light-weight and loose; I just wish they had pockets), but even I'll put on a suit for something like that. But day-to-day basis? Going to an amusement park? Or camping? Just save makeup for special occasions, and it'll serve multiple purposes. 1) it won't take you quite as long to get ready. 2) you can weed-out the guys who're after you 'cause you look young or have that just-right shade of blush on your cheeks. (which, I think, would constitute womanizers or gay men.) 3) When you're exerting yourself (and I honestly was just thinking the camping example; get your minds out of the gutter) you don't have to worry about sweating a little. And 4) when you put it on for special occasions (i.e. the opera or anniversaries (or an anniversary at the opera)) it'll actually mean something. Then it becomes the guy equivalent of wearing a tie: not something you expect from us all the time, but something appreciated when the time comes for it to happen.

I do feel I should make an emphasis that there is a difference between primping and being presentable. I'm not a savage. I don't wear loincloths and moccasins wherever I go. My pants don't have holes in them and they aren't hanging off my ass. My shirts don't have a nipple protruding from them (well, except when I go clubbing.) That's "presentable." But I'm not gonna wear a suit to go grocery shopping, nor will I shave specifically because I'm going hiking. Those things are "primping". So ladies, I'm not saying to wear baggy, holey pants with an oversized camoflage coat and armpit hair blending into your head hair. That's a shade less than presentable. But as far as I'm concerned? 95% of the time I'll be happy with combed hair, clothes that fit (not necessarily form fit, although, as a male, I admit that has a certain effect on us), and smile at me. And that's how you can land yourself the nicest hunchback that notre dame has ever seen.