The feelings to go with the text

Okay, I'm back. It's technically tomorrow, so here we go. (Oh, by the way, the first message in the earlier post was mine, then hers, then mine, etc, and the last one was mine in case you somehow lost track of the dialogue.) First, the irony exists, I think, because the things that my now ex-girlfriend considers okay to complain about, are the very things that I wouldn't complain about. Illness, death, break-ups... these are all things I can deal with, and very well. I accept them as part of life, things I can't change, and that's it. Going back to the serenity prayer; I know what I can't change, and I don't complain about it. My personal difficulties arise from the situations that I can change, but I'm not sure what to change. That's what I needed help with the other night, and that's why I feel slighted.

I'm not sure what to say about being single. I guess... I just didn't think it would end this way. It's not that I'm torn up about the fact that it ended; just how it did. After my early-May post, her and I had split for a week; returned to just dating. And I had no qualms about that, I think because I still had her in my life, and that was about all I wanted. And now? Now, I don't think I'll have that opportunity. I had, at least twice prior, tried to steer her and I towards "just friends." I think part of me knew we wouldn't succeed as a couple, but with the wanting her in my life, I thought friends would be a good solution. But she wanted more, so I gave it a shot.

I want to make it clear that I'm not bitter towards her. I am hurt, because, as I attempted to explain to her, I feel like she trivialized my emotions. And I think that no matter how well we might repair things between us, we should never get back as a couple because those facts wouldn't change: I will need someone to lean on, and she will not want to be troubled with insignificant things. Truth be told, I'm aware that problems at work are, in the long run, insignificant. But the mundane things in life are often what creep up on us and stress us out. I would one day like to evolve to the point where life doesn't stress me out, but my difference with her is deeper than that: the fact is that, whatever the reason might have been, I needed her, and she wasn't there for me. And I can't have that in a would-be girlfriend. So that's that.

I will miss her, and I do wish her the best, and, to be honest, if I could stay friends with her, I would. But I don't think she would go for that, because she hasn't in the past. And if I ever start to post about us getting back together as a couple, I'm counting on you to call me on it. Make a comment and tell me I'm dumb for trying something that clearly doesn't work. But, I know she got hurt in this, and that's the last thing I want for anyone, much less someone I came to care about. So, just to be able to say it, even though she doesn't read this and I don't think she even knows about it, I'm sorry hon. Good night everyone, until next time; take care of yourselves.