Britney's been replaced

For those of you who have known me for a while, I used to have a mild fanatical obsession with Britney Spears. I think it had more or less ceased by the time I started this blog. I just lost respect for the gal. In spears-time, I started losing interest with that whole overnight marriage thing, and I finished losing interest with that whole "I'm going to marry a douchebag loser" thing. But before those two moments, I was all about britney. I had the CDs (a fact that I'm somewhat embarrased to admit, but you know what, I still think her songs are okay). I had a couple posters. I never sent her a birthday card or went to a concert or anything too stalkerish, but although my top-5 (sometimes top-10) list always changed, she remained a constant at the top. Until, you know, she went crazy.

I accepted applications for the position for some time (metaphorically speaking, of course). There were lots of possible candidates, but they each had something that regulated them to a not-first position. Angelina Jolie? Smoking hot and sexy, but if Britney got the boot for being crazy, it wouldn't be fair to give the spot to another psycho. (A vial of blood around the neck? That's kind of hot, but mostly just scary.) Natalie Portman? Beautiful girl, seemingly down to earth and unglamorous, but I think that's what hurt her. My number one celebrity dream chick should be glamorous, I think. Isla Fisher (the redhead from Wedding Crashers)? Everyone knows I have a weakness for redheads, and this gal has the potential for number one, but firstly, I don't think she's a natural redhead (not a deterant in-and-of itself, but I don't think she typically has red hair), and secondly, she doesn't seem to get that much exposure. I'd never heard of her before Wedding Crashers, and even after looking her up, I can't even tell you what else she's done. These are some of the top candidates, but none of them seem suitable.

Well, I think I've finally found Britney's replacement: Vanessa Lengies. Now, like Isla, I hadn't heard of Vanessa until "Waiting..." came out; she played the not-quite-18 hostess. (She's 20-some in real life; I'm not that creepy.) But, upon further research, she's been in quite a few things; just not things I've seen. She apparently had a relatively regular role in the show "American Dreams." She seemed to co-star with Hillary Duff in "The Perfect Man." Other stuff too, like TV shows and a voice-overs in Arthur movies and stuff; but in those things, she's a tad too young for me to take an interest. But the point is that she has been around for a while, and with two more movies in the works (including a gymnastics one; me-OW!) it looks like she'll be around for a while too. On top of all that, a lot of the pics I found of her have her acting goofy (kinda like the way Britney used to; sticking her tongue out and laughing and stuff). So she seems to have a fun-loving, comical approach to life too.

The only thing that scares me is the look. Before you say "wtf? She's hot! And isn't that why she's on your list?", yes, she is hot. And that is why she's on my list. But I've been burned (or burned myself, depending on your point of view... probably the latter) by no less than two italian chicks in the past, and so I have a hard time accepting her as the top. Not to punish her for my past; I just don't want to be hurt again. (For those of you who don't know me all that well, that last sentence is a joke. I'm not in the least bit concerned about my celebrities hurting my feelings. What are they going to do? Go on Leno and say "Oh, and Chris is a douche and I fucking hate him." ... okay, so that's happened twice... but I don't think it will happen again, 'cause I've stopped killing puppies as a means of showing affection.)

So, yeah. Vanessa Lengies is being given the position for a probationary period. We'll give her 90 days; see how she fits in with the rest of the staff. (No pun intended.) And, you know, if everything is going well, we'll see about getting her the spot on a permanent basis.