A little premature...

...but aren't we all?



"Meddy Chri-ma!"

"Is nothing sacred?"

"Aw, who let the two-headed monster be Santa Claus?"

"Oh, but Bert; he said that he'd never been in a play before. I mean, they said it. Both of them said it."



A Muppet Family Christmas is the best Christmas special EVER!!! My only regret is that the VHS version is missing scenes that I know I've seen on the TV version (namely, a song and dance routine with a snowman and a home video of the muppets as kids, among others...). I can only hope that when I one day get the DVD, those scenes will be restore to their rightful place in the movie. All that said, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!

And here we are again

What does that title mean, you may ask yourself? Is it in reference to a return to blogging after a week-long absence? Nay, it is nothing that profound. It's an allusion to the fact that every FUCKING Christmast I wind up getting sick. Every fucking one! I swear to god, I'm so sick of it. I think my first ex put a hex on me, 'cause that's how long I've been sick every christmas. It's quite infuriating, I assure you.

But this year I'm attempting to beat the punch; at the onset of the cold, I called and made myself a doctor's appt, and am currently taking antibiotics to help me beat this bugger before the magic day arrives. The downside, however, is that I'm too sore/distracted to continue to work on my pictures, and I was already well behind them when the week started. (FYI, for christmas presents I've been drawing pictures for the people I care about; 1) It circumvents the commercialism of christmas, but 2) it takes time and consideration to do, in my opinion, making it a more meaningful gift. Of course, this assumes that they get done.)

So what else is new? I'm struggling to get past my aversion to dating so that I can continue seeing a rather cool young lady. It's really difficult, because I keep worrying about where my future will take me, and whether or not there's room for anyone else. But I suppose that there's little reason to worry about that now; let the future will take care of itself, I say.

I'm going to try to get off to bed at the moment; rest and liquids and whatnot. But I'll be seeing you.

The band or the wagon?

It's both! Yes, that's what I've fallen off of; the blogger bandwagon. I've not updated for some time now, and the last one was just a survey that I answered in my down time; not the most interesting read, I know. So what gives? I don't know; I think a large portion of it has to do with the fact that I'd namely be writing about the current girl in my life, but she reads this, and Jackson has always cautioned (and sometimes flat-out berated) me against using a blog as a means of communication, even an unintentional one. bah, fuck it. I don't think anything I'd write at this point is anything she didn't already know.

So we'd dated for two weeks before I told her I didn't want to date; and it really was all on me; I'm fucked-up in the head. What we currently have remains nameless for the moment, despite the fact that it effectively is dating. But I think it's namelessness allows me to enjoy it (vs. last time, where I was just a nervous bag of, um... bricks. Yeah, nervous bricks; right... good analogy...) The problem in my head is that, after six years of being single, I grew to like it and to expect it and to incorporate it into my plans. (And after I decide on all that, I've had more women in my life in the past year than ever before that.) All my visions for the future now? It's just me there; no Mrs. TheStampede anywhere in sight. So in my over-analyzing mind, if that's the case, then any dating I would do at this point is just spinning my wheels and stringing someone else along, because it'll eventually have to end if my bachelor-future is going to arrive as I've come to think it will (which is why I struggle to "date" anyone). And it's not that I couldn't change that vision; it's just that it took me six years to change to it, so it will likely take me some time to start thinking "okay, maybe I won't be single; we'll see." So while I'm effectively still dating the girl I told I didn't want to date, I'm not calling it that, and it's kind of circumventing my fucked-upedness.

All that being said, our nameless-association is going very well. I talk to her (well, primarily through texting and IMing) much more than I might've expected to; truly, more than I'd care to admit, because I make my best efforts to take things as slow as I can (for reasons already named). But despite that fact, I'm usually the one to initiate contact on a given day; I like talking to her, I suppose, and I've never been very good at restraining myself from overindulging in the things I like (a look into my bank account is proof of that); so that's what I find myself doing with her. And I'm grateful for the fact that she didn't write me off after I told her I didn't want to date her; I could tell she was upset for a day or two, but after that it was as though I'd never said anything, and we kept plugging along in the process of changing our amicable acquaintance into something more. But I really had no intention of continuing a dating path when I said as much, and I made a distinct effort not to for a week or so afterwards. Which means that it was either her persistance, or her disbelief in what I had said that led us to where we are now. Maybe she saw through my psychosis and decided that I might be worth the time if that could be surmounted? I don't know. Whatever the case, though, I'm glad she did, because I am enjoying myself these days.

PS: I've noticed that I don't have the option to choose the date and time of my post anymore... most peculiar...

Remember when these things used to come via email?

Nowadays its all blogger... anyhoos, beneath these two surveys (which I really don't mind doing every ONCE in a while; hence, me doing them) is an actual post. It's short. But it's there. So there.

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. Me

2. Where was your first kiss? in a school bus playing truth or dare

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property? no

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? sometimes; oh, wait, sorry. thought that said 'hit-on'. No, no; I hit them on, like, a daily basis.

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? not really

6. What's the first thing you notice about the preferred sex? laugh/legs/eyes

7. What really turns you on? that's on a need-to-know basis, and I don't need to know. So I don't. Go ask a gal in Towson. ('cause she knows.)

8. What do you order at Starbucks? the s-bucks is little more to me than a former meet-up place for my ex and I.

9. What is your biggest mistake? Well, this one time I was a groundskeeper, and I was told to kill all the gophers on the course. But, see, my boss? He was scottish... I thought he said "golfers"... But I should get out in another 10 years on good behavior.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? lol; I've set myself up for a couple of times.

11. Say something totally random about yourself. Chris pound keys make words.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? People always confuse me with Brad Pitt.

13. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? does anime count?

14. Did you have braces? not no mo.

15. Are you comfortable with your height? Until it starts drinking; my height's a bitch when it's off the wagon.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you? combed her hair and showed up at my work with a DVD she bought me (you have to understand, this gal was all about low expectations...)

17. When do you know it's love? When the person switches the neon sign from "applause" to "awwwww..."

18. Do you speak any other languages? I remember minimal french, but I'm learning dirka dirka.

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? nyet

20. What magazines do you read? Car ones; namely import/tuner ones. Occasionally maxim

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo? yep

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? I was friends with some of the golfers...

23. Do you watch MTV? no cable, but I've heard it doesn't even show music videos anymore; what's all that about?

24. What's something that really annoys you? people. Also, dogs who drive to slow in the fast lane.

25. What's something you really like? Drag racing was fun. (at a track, you jumping-the-gun bastards!) So is making out. ... wouldn't recommend trying both at the same time though...

26. Do you like Michael Jackson? like his older music; lost a lot of respect for the man

27. Can you dance? Can I dance? Can I DANCE? Can a white man jump? Is the Pope Protestant? Is- no.

28. What's the latest you have ever stayed up? most recently was til 4Am. But I've all-nightered it a couple of times, most recent of those was to watch all six Star Wars in conjunction with the midnight release of Episode 3. That's right, I'm a nerd.

29. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? don't think so

30. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out? on occasion.

Survey # 2

1. Of all the bands/artists in your cd/record collection, which one do you own the most albums by? Garbage or No Doubt; No Doubt has more albums out, but I have a couple of Garbage singles to even the score.

... Okay, the rest of this survey is too music-specific for me. Just read my profile for my top-ranked bands, and I tend to prefer female vocalists over male vocalist. Notable male exceptions? Elvis, The Cure, The Beatles, Saliva (kind of), Jim Croce, Simon and Garfunkle. (Note that most of them are older groups.) And with that, I'm going away.

Holy Hell!

It's been almost a week since I wrote on this thing! I hope they don't cancel me; I'd hate to lose the extra $1000/mo I get for this. That's the going rate, isn't it? I'd hate to think I'm getting short-changed...

So, yeah, Thursday night? I would definitely classify that as a "good" night. Arguably one of the top ten days I've had in the course of my life. It was, um, yeah. It was good. And, I want to write more about it, but I shouldn't. So I'm going to leave it as a "good night." And morning. And afternoon.

Um... yeah.

I haven't written on here for a while. It's not that I have nothing to say (well, nothing less than the usual triflings I put out anyway). I think maybe I've become bored with it. I dunno.

I will say I've been thinking more and more about trying to make a career out of teaching martial arts. Yes, I know that I tend to get carried away with things, and that I'm very impressionable, but on the flip side it makes a lot of sense to me. Here are the following positives that I see:

1) I love studying martial arts. I've never once left class in a bad mood, regardless of my mood going in.

2) I've always felt like I was meant to be a teacher. In this case, I can teach something useful, but I can also impart my own life thinkings and philosophies upon my students, rather than be told to dictate someone elses.

3) It's a healthy profession.

4) I'd be my own boss.

5) I could be a role-model and inspiration to kids; someone responsible that they can learn from and turn to with their problems. (This might even rid me of the socially-imposed and genetically-implied desire to have kids. I don't think I really want them, but I would like to be able to influence a child as they grew and help them to be the best they could be.)

Anyway, I talked to my teacher about this, not 'cause I think I'm ready to open a school today or anything, but because I wanted to get his advice on what I could do now to help achieve that goal. He told me that he was actually getting ready to send out letters to a few students (including me) telling them about a new "student assistant" program where some of the more advanced and responsible students would help to lead the classes in exchange for almost neglible discounts and a special weekly class on how to be an instructor and the history of the school and whatnot. So I'm going to do that, and I'm fairly excited.

Yeah, but other than that? I got nuthin, so I'm gonna go now...

Catching up

It's been a while since I posted. Again. This time was a purposeful absence though. I've had to deal with unpleasant thoughts/decisions for the past few days (well, past week really; decisions were made by tuesday.) And out of respect for that person's privacy, I won't write about it up here, but the short version is that I think I hurt someone. I think she's okay, or at least very shortly will be, but it doesn't erase the initial sting. And I hate doing that; I consider my purpose in life to be to make people laugh; to teach them how to be happy. To do the opposite of that, even if its sometimes necessary, pains me more than I think most people realize.

So, I haven't written here because that's pretty much all that I've been dwelling on the past few days, and all the uneccessary guilt that goes along with Catholic upbringings. But now that I feel the tension has resolved (at least on my part, but I believe on hers as well), I now return you to your regularly scheduled postings.

Um... okay, this is, uh, past this station's normal operating hours... please join us again tomorrow at, uh, o'clock for another broadcast day.